sorry to irish

[sumodavey]

A coach load of paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going..... the driver won £52!

Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires stickin out of it. He phones the police and says "Bejasus I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb."
The operator asks, "is it tickin?
Paddy says "No, oi tink it's beef"

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor.
Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil...


Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?."
Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me!"

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year"
Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."


Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?"
Paddy says, "Oi did, but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

how do you confuse an irishman, put 2 spades in front of him and tell him to take his pick.
or
put him in a round room and tell him to go to a corner

[satman]

some good ones in there. Some I haven't heard. Thanks...

[Jimmy Silverfish FULLA]

Paddys on a building site, and says to Murphy

" go and fetch me a wheel barrow from the stores"

So Murphy goes off to get a wheel barrow

He's gone ages and then finally turns up after hours,,,

With 2 wheel barrows

Paddy says where have you been I asked for 1 wheel barrow not 2


So Murphy says " well I wasn't going to carry it was I "

[satman]

another good one.