Post by bobj on Aug 28, 2018 18:22:18 GMT
Australian Bush Computer Terminology.
Getting ready for Broadband
LOGON : Adding wood to make the barbie hotter
LOG OFF : Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
MONITOR : Keeping an eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD : Getting the firewood off the ute.
HARD DRIVE : Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD : Where you hang the ute keys.
WINDOWS : What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN : What you shut in the mozzie season.
BYTE : What mozzies do.
MEGABYTE : What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP : A pub snack.
MICROCHIP : What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM : What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP : Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE : Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE : Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE : The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME : What holds the shed up.
WEB : What spiders make.
WEBSITE : Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE : What you do when the ute won't go.
CURSOR : What you say when the ute won't go.
YAHOO : What you say when the ute does go.
UPGRADE : A steep hill.
SERVER : The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER : The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
USER : The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK : What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET : Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE : What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.
ONLINE : Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE : Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.